No Wool for the Black Sheep: Estate Planning for Clients with Estranged Family Members

Image with text: No Wool for the Black Sheep: Estate Planning for Clients with Estranged Family Members followed by Sensitive family issues call for empathy, tact, and a deep understanding of legal strategies that can mitigate potential conflicts and author details.

Abbey Flaum, J.D., LL.M., is principal and family wealth strategist at Homrich Berg. Abbey applies the company’s holistic approach to each client’s planning, and she provides clients with ongoing, personalized guidance on tax-efficient wealth, business, and estate planning strategies.

Although families often try to portray themselves like Norman Rockwell paintings in society, the unfortunate truth is so many of those smiles you scroll through on Instagram are masking feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, or frustration. More families than you think have at least one family member who marches to the beat of their own drum—the “black sheep,” a person who falls victim to substances, holds extreme beliefs, is a spendthrift, or who just does not have a good relationship with anyone. Research shows that as many as one in four people have experienced estrangement from at least one family member.1

When engaging in estate planning, these underlying family dynamics may significantly shape the structure of the client’s plan, but few clients walk into their adviser’s office and immediately disclose, “My son has a substance abuse problem, and I’m worried about what will happen if I leave him a large inheritance.” More commonly, clients keep their family conflicts hidden, either out of shame or simply because they do not realize the importance of disclosing this information for the purposes of estate planning. 

How do advisers encourage clients to speak freely about such sensitive subjects? This process begins with building a relationship of trust and creating a safe, judgment-free space for clients to share personal and sometimes painful details about their family dynamics.

Read more here: https://www.financialplanningassociation.org/learning/publications/journal/DEC24-no-wool-black-sheep-estate-planning-clients-estranged-family-members-OPEN

  1. Schumer Chapman, Fern. 2024, February 19. “What Research Tells Us About Family Estrangement.” Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brothers-sisters-strangers/202402/statistics-that-tell-the-story-of-family-estrangement ↩︎
Abbey Flaum

Abbey Flaum, J.D., LL.M.

Wealth Strategist

Abbey joined HB Wealth after 16 years of law practice devoted to estate, gift and charitable planning, probate, trust and estate administration, pre/post-marital planning and business succession planning. As a Shareholder in the HB Wealth’s Family Office division, Abbey serves as our Wealth Strategist, applying the company’s holistic approach to each client’s planning, and she provides clients with ongoing, personalized guidance on tax-efficient wealth, business and estate planning strategies.

Related Insights & News

A smiling man in a suit appears next to the text: “Economic and Market Perspective: Did Anything Change During The Government Shutdown?” with “Ross Bramwell, CFA” and “HB Wealth” at the bottom.

Did Anything Change During The Government Shutdown?

Last month, we talked about the potential data vacuum of no inflation or jobs reports…

Read More

A person wrapped in a blanket sits by a lit fireplace, holding a book and a red mug, enjoying a cozy and relaxing moment indoors.

Navigating the Holidays: Finding Meaning, Creating New Traditions, and Honoring Your Healing

For many of my clients, the holidays represent a time of warmth, togetherness, and celebration….

Read More

A collage of three professionally dressed people: a smiling woman with long brown hair on the left, and two smiling men in suits on the right, each shown in separate portrait frames with blurred office backgrounds.

HB Wealth Strengthens Investment Leadership with Appointment of Gina Martin Adams as Chief Market Strategist and Key Investment Promotions

Adams will be joining newly appointed CIO Joel Houck and Deputy CIO Ford Donohue in…

Read More

A calm, blue ocean stretches to the horizon under a clear, cloudless sky, creating a peaceful and serene seascape.

From Burden to Differentiator: Turning Family Data into Strategic Capital

Executive Summary The modern family office stands at an inflection point, where what once felt…

Read More

The above is not a recommendation to purchase or sell a particular security and is not legal, investment or tax advice. Results are not guaranteed. All investing involves risk.

Past performance is not a guarantee of future results for any investment. Private alternative investments are not for every client. An individual must be qualified to invest in a private investment based on their net worth and/or other criteria, and they may qualify to invest in some alternative investments while not being allowed to invest in other alternative investments. Alternative investments are not risk-free and there is no guarantee of achieving attractive performance compared to similar liquid investments. Risks associated with investments in private alternatives include the illiquid nature of such investments, risks associated with leveraged investments, manager-specific risks, sector-specific risks, and in certain cases geographical risk, as well as the risk of loss of principal.